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Polly in Politics 





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Polly in Politics 



A Comedy in Three Acts 



BY 



THOMAS LITTLEFIELD MARBLE 

Author of "WON BY WIRELESS," "THE HESSIAN," etc 




PHILADELPHIA 

THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 

1911 






Copyright 1911 by The Penn Publishing Company 



^CI.D 25212 



Polly in Politics 



CHARACTERS 



Colonel Jasper Danvers . Leader of the " old guard" 

Joseph Pendexter An " insurgent" 

James Vilas A " regular" 

Sammy A bell-boy 

Mrs. Danvers The Colonel's wife 

Polly Danvers The Colonel's daughter 

Cora Jones A telephone girl 

Marie A parlor maid 



SYNOPSIS 



Act I. — Parlor of the Imperial Hotel at the State Capital. 
The night of the Governor's ball. The Skirmish. 

Act W. — Telephone room at the imperial. Ten o'clock 
next morning. The Ambush. 

Act III. — Committee room at the State House. Ten- 
thirty-five o'clock the same morning. The Victory. 

Time. — The present. Place. — The Capital of a New 
England State. 

Time in Representation : — Two hours. 



NOTICE 

This play is published for amateur production only. The right to 
produce it professionally in any form or under any title can be had 
only by the consent of the author, who may be addressed in care of the 
publishers. 



STORY OF THE PLAY 

Colonel Danvers, a "regular," and Joseph Pendexter, an 
"insurgent," are candidates for Speaker of the Legislature. 
Pendexter is in love with Polly Danvers; but the Colonel 
refuses his consent. Danvers' animosity toward Pendexter 
is still further increased by the fact that Pendexter has 
placed a lock and key on the telephone booth at the Imperial 
Hotel as a humorous reminder of a political secret of the 
"regulars," revealed at the previous session. 

The loss of a single "regular ' ' vote is likely to defeat Colo- 
nel Danvers. On the morning of the election, his lieutenant, 
Jim Vilas, is summoned to the hotel by Polly. Their con- 
versation is interrupted by an unexpected telephone call for 
Danvers. Polly locks Vilas in the booth and holds him a 
prisoner until her father consents to her marriage with 
Pendexter. 

Act J. The Skirmish. Scene, the parlor of the Imperial 
Hotel at the State Capital. Sammy, the bell-boy, teaches 
politics to Marie, the maid. Danvers accuses Vilas of put- 
ting a lock on the telephone booth. " They're all laughing 
at us." Pendexter confesses that he put on the lock, as a 
joke. " It was a low-down insurgent trick." Polly's ulti- 
matum — " By hook or crook I'll gain dad's consent to our 
marriage." 

Act 11. The Ambush. Scene, the telephone room at 
the Imperial. Danvers is angry. " Polly, once and for all, I 
forbid you to marry that fellow." Polly and Vilas. "Then 
you declare yourself my opponent?" " I do. Within half 
an hour I shall vote for Colonel Danvers." Vilas is called 
to the 'phone. Polly, with Sammy's aid, locks up Vilas 
and takes the wire. " Hello, dad, Mr. Vilas won't be able 
to vote this morning— he's unavoidably detained ! " 

Act HI. The Victory. Scene, a committee room at 
the State House. Danvers, at the 'phone, rages at Vilas. 
"Going to let a girl outwit you?" Mrs. Danvers fears it 
will get in the papers. Danvers and Polly. " I'll smash 
the booth." " Everybody'll laugh at you." " All right, a 
good politician knows when he's beaten." Polly releases 
Vilas. The Colonel and Joe shake hands. 



COSTUMES 

Colonel Jasper Danvers. Act I, evening dress. Acts II 
and III, appropriate business suit. 

Joseph Pendexter. Act I, evening dress. Acts II and 
III, fashionable business suit. 

James Vilas. Act I, evening dress. Acts II and III, 
fashionable business suit. 

Sammy. Bell-boy's livery. 

Mrs. Danvers. Act I, evening gown, cloak, etc. Acts 
II and III, appropriate street costume, hat, gloves, etc. 

Polly Danvers. Act I, elaborate evening gown, opera 
cloak, fan, etc. Act II, fashionable tailor-made gown. 
Act III, same as Act II, with automobile coat, bonnet and 
gloves. 

Cora Jones. ., Office dress, a bit pronounced in style ; 
hair puffed in a somewhat exaggerated fashion. 

Marie. Maid's costume. , 



PROPERTIES 



Act I. — Paper novel for Marie. Florist's boxes for Sammy 
and Vilas. 

Act II. — Newspaper for Danvers. Novel for Cora, the 
same used by Marie in Act I. Key for telephone booth. 
Pen, ink, stationery and penknife for Polly. Fan for Marie 
and Pendexter, the same carried by Polly in Act I. 

Act III. — Automobile horn for use outside the scenes. 



SCENE PLOTS 

Act I 



/NTSRJOR BACKING 




Scene. — Parlor of the Imperial Hotel. Handsome fur- 
nishings, as indicated. Entrances r., l. and c. 

Act II 



INTERJOfl BACK/NG 




Scene. — Telephone room at the Imperial. Entrance c. 
should have practicable door, with lock and key. Desk down 
r. is equipped as nearly as possible like an "exchange," 
with keyboard, plugs, etc. This need not be very elaborate, 

6 



SCENE PLOTS 7 

however. There must be a telephone on the desk. The 
lock and key of the booth should be conspicuous. Booth 
may be set in flat, back, if desired. Newspaper files need 
not be very prominent. 

Act III 



//VTJT/ejO/L BACKING 




Scene. — Committee room in the State Capital building. 
Entrance c. Window, r. Large table and chairs up l. 
Small table or desk, with telephone, down r. 



Polly in Politics 



ACT I 

The Skirmish 



SCENE. — Parlor of the Imperial Hotel. Broad doorway 
with portieres, c, back. Doors in right and left walls 
of scene. Large sofa at r. Chairs, etc, The appoint- 
ments should be somewhat ostentatious, but in other re- 
spects the room may be furnished to suit the taste. 

(As the curtain rises, Marie is discovered seated on the 
sofa reading a paper novel. Sammy enters, a, pausing 
in the doorway. He carries a florist's box suitable for 
long- stemmed roses.) 

Sammy (imitating a bell). Ting-a-ling-a-ling ! (Marie 
starts guiltily, and thrusts the book hastily into the pocket 
of her apron.) Wake up, " sweet Marie" ! 

Marie. Ah, naughtee boy ! You haf make me jump. 

Sammy. Ha ! Guilty conscience, I'll bet a dollar. 

Marie (rising indignantly). Eet ees no such zing. 

Sammy (patronizingly). Oh, don't worry ! (Grandly.) 
Read all the novels you like. I ain't the sort o' guy to 
peach on you. 

Marie (demurely). You are ver' good, M'sieur Sammee. 

Sammy (petulantly). No, I ain't nuther. (Proudly.) 
I'm all to the bad — honest I am. But say! I'm wise — 
oh, gee ! ain't I the wise guy — just like the politicians, you 
know. 

Marie (eagerly). Mais oui — I know ! You are mos' as 
defer as a leetle lamb. {Coyly.) Maree's leetle lamb ! 

Sammy (contemptuously). Ah, g'wan ! I didn't mean 
that. 

Marie (innocently). No ? Zen vhat ees eet zat you mean ? 
I find ze Americaines so difficile to understan'. Frequentlee 
I make ze blundaire. 



10 POLLY IN POLITICS 

Sammy {with condescension). Oh, you'll cop the lingo 
all right, all right. Just follow me. I talk real United 
States. 

Marie. Ees eet so ? 

Sammy. Sure thing ! Some day I'll put you wise. 

Marie (pleadingly). Put me vise now — Meestaire 
Sammee. 

Sammy. Ain't got time to-night — got to aviate along sky- 
ward. O-ree-vaw, Miss Parley- voo ! 

(Turns as though to move on.) 

Marie (hastily). Vait — vait, M'sieur Sammee ! Vhy 
mus' you hurry so? All ze guest' are in zeir room' — zay 
dress for ze gran' Governaire's ball. Ve are alone. Eet 
ees a ver' good time to — put me vise. 

Sammy {lingering in the doorway). Gee ! I guess you're 
wise enough already. Honest, " sweet Marie," I can't stop 
a minute longer. I'm on my way to " forty-four." Look ! 
- — here's my credentials. 

(Comes forward and exhibits box of flowers.) 

Marie (rapturously). Flowaires ! Oh, pleas' may I 
haf one leetle peek ? 

Sammy (emphatically). Not on your life ! I ain't takin' 
no chances on losin' my job — not while the Legislature's in 
session. 

Marie (plaintively). Ah, but I love ze prettee leetle 
flowair'. Tell me, zay are roses, n'est-ce-pas? 

Sammy. You just bet they are — " great red insurgent 
'Jacks' " — that's what Mr. Pendexter called 'em. 

Marie. Meestaire Pendexter? 

Sammy. Sure. He's the guy that's scrappin' with 
Colonel Danvers for the speakership. 

Marie. Ah, oui ; I remembaire. And do you zink zat 
he vill be victoreeous ? 

Sammy. Not so you'd notice it ! You can take it 
straight from me, the Colonel's goin' to win in the caucus, 
and that's as good as an election. 

Marie. Of course ! How stupeed I am ! Colonel Dan- 
vair' ees a brave sol-jaire, ees he not ? Zen he understan' 
bettaire how to fight. 

Sammy (contemptuously). Soldier your eye ! Served on 



POLLY IN POLITICS II 

the Governor's staff once — -that's where he swiped the 
title. 

Marie. Ah, but he haf a daughter — Mees Polly ! I 
adore her. She ees beauteeful. 

Sammy (jvith enthusiasm). Bet your life she is ! I'm 
takin' the posies to her. 

Marie. And zay are ze gift of Meestaire Pendexter, ees 
eet not so ? 

Sammy. Sure they are. 

Marie {excitedly). Oh, how romanteek ! Ze fazaire 
and ze lovaire, zay are enemees. Eet ees mos' exactly like 
ze novels. 

Sammy {glancing toward the book in her apron). Well, 
I guess you ought to know. 

Marie (enticingly). Dear leetle Sammee, you are so 
tired flying up and down ze stair' all ze day long, let me 
take ze flowair' to ze lady. 

Sammy (regarding her keenly). Well, say ! what's yer 
game, anyhow ? Whatcher want to deliver the roses for ? 

Marie. I want to behoi' a real heroine — to see ze prettee 
Mees Danvair' all dress for ze ball. You say I may go? 

Sammy (evasively). S'pose she hands out a tip — will you 
divy the swag? 

Marie. " Deevy ze swag " ? (Shakes her head.) I do 
not knowheem. But I vill do anyzing you vish. If eet ees 
money zat you mean, I vill give you efery single sou marque. 

Sammy. Well, you ain't much like the politicians. 

Marie. No ? Zen I may dee-lee-vaire ze box ? 

Sammy. Yes — guess you may if you'll keep mum 
about it. 

Marie (taking box). Oh, I vill nevaire say one leetle 
vord. 

Sammy. That's right. They don't want no tattlers nor 
rubberers 'round this hotel. 

Marie. Reel-lee ? — do zay not ? 

Sammy. No, siree ! Why, they've even put a lock and 
key on the telephone booth. 

Marie. Ma foi ! Vhat ees ze reason for zat ? 

Sammy. So's there won't be no political secrets get out 
o' the 'phone — like there did last session. 

Marie. Ees eet so? Zen I vill lock my lips — jus' like 
ze telephone. (Purses lips and puts her face close to 
Sammy's.) Zere ! Now you may seal zem — tight. 



12 POLLY IN POLITICS 

Sammy (grinning). Gee! This is a cinch. (Kisses her.) 
(Enter Mrs. Danvers, c.) 

Mrs. D. Well, I declare ! (Sammy and Marie separate 
hastily.) Things have reached a pretty pass. No wonder 
the service in this hotel is abominable. 

Marie. Au revoir — Sammee ! 

(Exit Marie, c.) 

Mrs. D. (to Sammy). Boy, have you seen Colonel Dan- 
vers this evening? 

Sammy. Yes'm ; saw him ten minutes ago. 

Mrs. D. Talking politics in the office, 1 suppose? 

Sammy (grinning). Guess you know the Colonel, ma'am. 

Mrs. D. (grimly). I ought to. Any woman who has a 
politician for a husband spends half her time waiting for him 
to finish a silly argument that doesn't convince anybody of 
anything. 

(Enter James Vilas, c. He carries a fiorisfs box suita- 
ble for violets.) 

Vilas. Strenuous language, Mrs. Danvers. 
Mrs. D. I feel strenuous. 

(Starts to remove cloak.) 

Vilas (politely). Let me help you. 

(Removes cloak and places it on sofa.) 

Mrs. D. Thanks. 

Vilas. Miss Polly down yet ? 

Mrs. D. No ; she's every bit as exasperating as her father. 

(Sits at l.) 

Vilas. I have a little package for her. (Turns to 
Sammy.) Take it up, Sammy, will you? (Hands box to 
him.) Careful now ! 

Sammy. Sure thing ! Flowers, ain't they? 

Vilas (smiling). Yes — violets, if you insist on knowing. 

Sammy {wisely). Ha ! True blue, just like the regulars. 
I'm on, sir. 

Vilas (handing him a coin). Sam, you're all right. 

Sammy. Thank you, sir. (Starts to leave.) 

Mrs. D. (recalling him). Boy ! 



POLLY IN POLITICS 1 3 

Sammy (turning). Yes'm. 

Mrs. D. When you return tell Colonel Danvers I'm 
waiting. 

Sammy. Yes'm, I'll tell him. 

(Exit -Sammy, c.) 

Vilas (taking seat at r.). I suppose the Colonel deliv- 
ered my message, Mrs. Danvers? 

Mrs. D. Your message ? No, indeed ! My husband 
has no thought these days for anything but politics. 

Vilas. Well, you mustn't be too hard on him. It's a 
trying situation for us all. 

Mrs. D. Is it really ? 

Vilas. Indeed it is. We hold our caucus on the speak- 
ership to-morrow morning. Of course, if the Colonel wins 
in the caucus he's sure to be elected speaker of the house to- 
morrow night. But these insurgent chaps have raised the 
very deuce (I beg your pardon !) with party harmony. 

Mrs. D. Yes, I know. I've heard nothing else dis- 
cussed for weeks. 

Vilas. Oh, well, the Colonel will be victorious, I'm 
sure. Still, the forces are pretty evenly divided, and young 
Pendexter will give him a run for his money. 

Mrs. D. Do you think so ? 

Vilas. I'm afraid so. 

Mrs. D. Well, I must say Joe Pendexter has proved a 
great disappointment to us. 

Vilas. No doubt of it. 

Mrs. D. Why, we've known him from childhood. He 
was a playmate of Polly's. 

Vilas. Really? 

Mrs. D. And now to think he has the effrontery to op- 
pose my husband ! It makes one lose faith in human 
nature. 

Vilas. It does, indeed. 

Mrs. D. I've never seen Colonel Danvers so wrought up 
about anything before. It's not surprising that he should 
forget your message. What was it, Mr. Vilas? 

Vilas. Oh, I merely asked the Colonel to tell you and 
Miss Polly that my motor-car is at your disposal this even- 
ing. 

Mrs. D. That's exceedingly good of yon, I'm sure. 
Polly is so fond of motoring ! She'll be delighted. 



14 POLLY IN POLITICS 

Vilas. The chauffeur's at the door now, and will take 
you to the Governor's reception whenever you like. 

Mrs. D. {effusively). How thoughtful ! 

Vilas. Don't mention it. 

Mrs. D. {looking about). Now, what's become of that 
parlor maid ? 

Vilas. Really, I don't know. 

Mrs. D. Very likely she's flirting with the bell-boy. 
{Rises.) The service in this hotel is perfectly abominable. 

Vilas {rising). Shall 1 find her for you ? 

Mrs. D. No; don't bother. I only wanted to send her 
after Polly. 

{Enter Marie, c. She carries evening cloak and fan for 

Polly.) 

Marie. Mees Danvair' ees ready, madame. 
Mrs. D. I'm glad to hear it. 

{Enter Polly Dan vers, c.) 

Polly {sweetly). Have I kept you waiting, mother dear? 

Mrs. D. No. At least, I haven't been waiting for you 
altogether. Your father is behindhand, as usual. 

Polly {laughing). Poor dad ! He's an awful trial, isn't 
he? 

Mrs. D. Mercy — yes ! 

Polly {to Marie). Throw the cloak over a chair, Marie. 
(Marie places cloak and fan on chair.) Thank you — that's 
all. {Exit Marie, l. Polly turns toward Vilas.) Good- 
evening, Mr. Vilas. 

Vilas. Good-evening, Miss Danvers. 

Polly. Awfully good of you to send the violets. 

Vilas. Not at all. It was a pleasure, 1 assure you. 

Polly {to Mrs. D.). Where's Joe, mother ? 

Mrs. D. I haven't the slightest idea. 

Polly. I asked him to join us; thought we'd all go over 
to the reception together — sort of homelike and comfy, you 
know. 

Mrs. D. Umph ! I guess your father'll have something 
to say about that. 

Polly {smiling). Shouldn't be surprised. 

Colonel Jasper Danvers {outside). In here, eh ? 
{Gruffly.) All right, I'll find him. 



POLLY IN POLITICS 1 5 

Polly. Guess he's ready to say it now. 

{Enter Danvers, c. He appears extremely annoyed, and 
addresses Vilas curtly.} 

Danvers. Look here, Jim Vilas ! 
Vilas. Yes, Colonel. 
Danvers. You're an unmitigated idiot ! 
Polly ) , , ,, . j Father ! 
Mrs. D. f &g' th *r). \ Jasper , 

Danvers. Oh, I mean exactly What I say. 

Mrs. D. Well, I must say you're complimentary ! 

Danvers. Any man with a thimbleful of brains would 
let sleeping dogs lie instead of stirring up a hornet's nest. 

Polly. Slowly, dad ! You're mixing metaphors. 

Danvers. Metaphors be hanged ! 

Vilas. Why, Colonel, what's the trouble ? 

Danvers. Trouble ? Wasn't there trouble enough last 
session when you blurted out that message over the tele- 
phone ? 

Mrs. D. {trying to restrain Danvers). Now, Jasper 
dear, that's ancient history. Really 

Danvers. Precisely. Then why not let it alone? Wasn't 
it stupid enough of you, Jim Vilas, to leave the door of the 
telephone booth ajar, so that every peevish reformer who 
cared to listen found out about that corporation deal ? 

Vilas. Why, Colonel, I 

Danvers. Well ! Wasn't it enough, I say, to set a 
hundred scandalous tongues a-wagging without keeping 'em 
eternally at it ? 

Vilas {firmly). Colonel, I don't know what you mean. 

Danvers. You don't, eh ? Well then, why in the name 
of common sense have you put a lock and key on the tele- 
phone booth ? 

Polly (to Mrs. D.). Mother, we're having a lesson in 
the gentle art of politics. 

Vilas (with astonishment). I put a lock and key on the 
telephone booth ? 

Danvers. Yes — you. Every man Jack of the opposi- 
tion is laughing at us. They say you're locking the stable 
after the horse has been stolen. And such a lock ! Why, 
the key would do credit to a dungeon. Every one of 
those confounded progressives who catches a glimpse of it 
grins like a chimpanzee. 



1 6 POLLY IN POLITICS 

Vilas (quietly). My dear Colonel, you're way off the 
track. Every word of this is news to me. 

Danveks {sarcastically). Oh, yes— very likely. They're 
all laughing at us, I tell you. 

Vilas (indignantly). And I tell you I never heard of 
this lock and key before. 

(Enter Joseph Pendextek, c. He pauses in the doorway.) 

Danvers. Oh, I expected you'd deny it. 

Mrs. D. (sharply). Jasper ! 

Vilas (angrily). Colonel Danvers, do you mean to ac- 
cuse me of telling a deliberate lie? 

Danvers. I mean to accuse you of making your usual 
political blunder — let it go at that. 

Vilas. But I'll not let it go at that. You've insulted 
me. I 

Pendexter (coining forward). Gentlemen, gentlemen ! 
Peace, I beg of you ! 

Polly (eagerly). Joe! {Goes to him.) 

Pendexter. Dissension in the ranks is most deplorable. 

Danvers (contemptuously). Huh ! Fine sentiment for 
a traitor. 

Polly. Father, what language ! 

Danvers. Oh, I've no patience with this insurgent 
business. 

Pendexter (dryly). Is it possible ? 

Danvers. You fellows prate about a square deal 

Pendexter. We do. 

Danvers. Shucks ! I reckon a taste of power and a 
share of the spoils is about all you're looking for. 

Pendexter (good-naturedly). Oh, I fancy our ideals 
are a bit loftier. 

Danvers. Well, suppose they are. What have you ac- 
complished ? Why, you've well-nigh wrecked your party 
with senseless wrangling and petty squabbles. 

Pendexter. Ah, but it's just because I don't want to 
see a squabble between two such illustrious regulars as your- 
self and the Honorable Mr. Vilas that I'm going to confess, 
Colonel, that I myself placed that lock on the telephone 
booth. 

Vilas. There, Colonel, are you satisfied ? 

Mrs. D. Yes, Jasper, are you satisfied ? 



POLLY IN POLITICS 1 7 

Danvers. Huh ! A low-down insurgent trick ! I might 
have known it. 

Pen dexter (bowing). Thanks. 

Danvers. Think you're mighty clever, don't you ? 

Pendexter. Oh, no; I haven't any such notion. 

Polly (stifling her laughter). Oh, Joe, Joe ! How 
could you ? 

Pendexter (innocently). Why, I've merely acted in 
the interests of party harmony, that's all. 

Polly. Ha, ha, ha ! " Party harmony" is good. Oh, 
I've heard the story. {To Vilas.) It was last session, 
wasn't it, Mr. Vilas, that you became so elated over a vic- 
tory of the " old guard " ? 

Vilas (stiffly). I always rejoice in victory, Miss Danvers. 

Polly. Yes, of course. But this time you were so joy- 
ful that you couldn't help rushing at once to the telephone 
to — ah — congratulate certain officers of a mighty corpora- 
tion long suspected of having a — er — hand in local politics. 

Vilas. It is true that my detractors have made that 
charge. 

Danvers. Confound 'em ! 

Polly {continuing). And you were in so very much of 
a hurry that you neglected to close the door of the telephone 
booth, and a little group of insurgents overheard your con- 
versation. 

Danvers. Contemptible eavesdroppers ! 

Polly. Pa, you're a dreadful scold. 

Danvers. Well, I never could stand a sneak, and that's 
what half these progressives 

Polly. At any rate, what Mr. Vilas said confirmed 
their suspicions, and a merry little scandal ensued. 

Mrs. D. You're right, Polly, it was a scandal. 

Pendexter. And I assure you, Mrs. Danvers, it grieved 
me exceedingly — the more so because I have always enter- 
tained the highest regard for Mr. Vilas and his policies. 

Vilas (with sarcasm). Undoubtedly ! 

Pendexter {continuifig). Indeed, so high is my regard 
that I'd hate tremendously to have that sort of thing occur 
again. 

Polly. Of course ! 

Pendexter. For that reason, I've equipped the door of 
the telephone booth with a perfectly — er — regular lock and 
inserted therein a very— conservative key. And if Mr. 



l8 POLLY IN POLITICS 

Vilas should have occasion to use the telephone this session, 
I'd suggest — merely in the interests of party harmony, you 
understand — that Colonel Danvers accompany him to the 
booth and see that he is locked securely inside — in the good 
old-fashioned way. 

Polly {laughing). Joe, your sense of humor is appalling. 

Danvers. H'm ! If that's humor, I guess I'm not feel- 
ing very humorous this evening. (Turns to Vilas.) Jim, 
I apologize. Here's my hand. 

Vilas {shaking hands with Danvers). That's all right, 
Colonel. I didn't take offense. The political situation is 
enough to make any one testy. 

Danvers. That's true. All the same I'll see Cora Jones 
in the morning. 

Mrs. D. (jealously). Cora Jones? Who's Cora Jones ? 

Danvers. Oh, she's only the telephone girl. (Glibly.) 
She tends the booth, answers the long distance calls, and 
connects the room telephones with the central office. Is that 
a sufficient explanation, m'dear ? 

Mrs. D. (dryly). It will do very nicely, thank you. 

Danvers. Well, I'm going to tell Cora to throw away 
that precious key. I don't propose to have it staring us in 
the face all the session. 

Vilas. Oh, I don't mind. 

Danvers. But I do. 

Vilas. Well, it's time to be moving, isn't it? 

Danvers. Oh, yes; I'd forgotten your invitation. 
(Turns to Polly.) Polly, Mr. Vilas is going to take us 
over to the Governor's reception in his auto. 

Polly. Why, father, I — I wanted to — I've made differ- 
ent arrangements. 

Danvers. You have, eh? Well, I guess you'd better 
unmake 'em. 

Polly. I'm afraid it's impossible now. 

Danvers. How so ? 

Polly. Why, I — I can't explain here. 

Pendexter. If you mean you've asked me to go along 
with you — why, don't let that interfere with your plans. 

Polly. It doesn't interfere. I made the plans myself, 
and you're part of them. 

Vilas. Well, there's lots of room in the buzz-wagon. 
Join us, won't yon, Pendexter? 

Pendexter. Thanks. I'm afraid 



POLLY IN POLITICS 1 9 

Danvers. Hold on, Jim ! Not one inch do I ride in 
company with a rank insurgent. 

Polly. Why, father ! 

Danvers. I mean what I say. 

Polly. You're utterly unreasonable. 

Danvers. When Joe Pendexter became too high and 
mighty to associate with the " old guard," we parted com- 
pany. I wasn't the one to break off political relations. He 
chose his own path, and, by George ! he can follow it. 

Pendexter. My dear Colonel, you know 1 

Danvers. Well ! if my politics aren't good enough for 
you progressives, my society isn't — that's all. You've had 
the audacity to ridicule 

Polly. Dear, dear father ! Can't you appreciate a 
joke ? 

Danvers. Yes, indeed, I can. And this is just a little 
joke on Joseph Pendexter. Jim and I will ride to the re- 
ception like the money barons we're charged with protecting, 
and Mr. Pendexter can walk with the common people he 
professes to love ! 

Polly. How perfectly absurd ! 

Danvers. Oh, I don't know ! I guess 

Mrs. D. (to Vilas). Mr. Vilas, I'm ready to go to the 
ball. Polly and her father may settle their differences — if 
they can. I'll wait for them in the motor. {Takes cloak.') 
Will you help me, please? 

Vilas (assistingher with cloak). Certainly. Letmetake 
you to the car. (To Polly.) Miss Polly, you'll find us 
below. 

Polly. Oh, I'll be right along. 

" He who fights and runs away 
Will live to fight another day." 

You know the saying. 
Vilas. Yes, 1 know. 

(Exeunt Mrs. D. ana 7 Vilas, c.) 

Polly (turning- to Danvers). Now, father, what have 
you against Joe ? 

Danvers. I've told you. He's an insurgent — a traitor 
to his party ; he's opposed me 



20 POLLY IN POLITICS 

Polly. Now, you know, dad, those are ridiculous rea- 
sons, every one of them ! 

Danvers. Well, they suit me. I guess that's sufficient. 

Polly. I'm afraid you're too easily suited, dad. 

Pendexter {with satisfaction). Ha ! 

Polly {turning to Pendexter). Now, Joe, what's the 
matter with dad ? 

Pendexter. Your father? Why, he — he's all right. 
He's a regular, to be sure, and I can't endorse his meas- 
ures 

Polly. Your reasons are just as absurd. 

Pendexter. I'm sorry 

Polly. You ought to be. 

Danvers {with elation). Ha! 

Polly. Now, then, both of you, listen to me. 

Danvers. We're listening. 

Polly. Dad, I've known Joe ever since I was a little 
girl. We've grown up together, and 1 — I guess I've learned 
to love him. 

Danvers. Umph ! Very sisterly of you, I'm sure. 

Polly. No, there's nothing sisterly about it. 

Danvers. What do you mean ? 

Polly. I mean that we're going to be married. 

Danvers. What ! 

Pendexter. That's about the size of it, Colonel. 

Danvers. Do you expect my approval ? 

Polly. Well, we've been hoping 

Danvers. Well, you'll never get it. 

Polly. Now, dad, don't say 

Danvers. I tell you I'll never consent. Never. 

Polly. Dear me ! You wouldn't let just a question of 
politics 

Danvers. Never, I say ! 

Polly. My, how emphatic ! 

Danvers. I guess I know my own mind. 

Polly. So do I mine. And I know something about 
politics, too. 

Danvers {ironically'). Do you, indeed ? 

Polly. Yes ; as a game it's quite as expensive as bridge 
and almost as crooked as poker. 

Dangers. You're very wise, young lady. 

PollV. Wise enough not to let a silly game stand be- 
tween me and happiness. 



POLLY IN POLITICS 21 

Danvers. Going to turn suffragette? 

Polly. Perhaps. If I do, the polls won't be closed till 
Colonel Danvers takes Joseph Pendexter by the hand, and 
says : " Joe, my boy, will you do me the honor to marry my 
daughter? " 

Danvers {grimly). Well, then, I guess the polls won't 
close at sunset. 

Polly. What makes you think so? 

Danvers. 1 have other plans for your future. 

Polly. Do you — do you mean Mr. Vilas? 

Danvers. Suppose I do? 

Polly. Oh, dad, I'm sorry, but you're going to be dis- 
appointed. 

Danvers. You believe it? 

Polly. I know it. I'll ride with Jim Vilas in his motor- 
car this evening simply to avoid a scene 

Danvers. Well — one step at a time is all I'm asking. 
Come along. 

Polly. Just a moment. I want to speak to Joe first. 
Tell mother I'll be down directly. 

Danvers. Very well. But remember we're waiting.- 

{Exit Danvers, c.) 

Polly. Joe, dear, do you care a whole lot for this polit- 
ical business? 

Pendexter. How do you mean ? 

Polly. I mean, have you set your heart on becoming 
speaker ? 

Pendexter. Bless you, no ! I sha'n't be tremendously 
disappointed if I fail. 

Polly. Won't you, really? 

Pendexter. No, indeed. I realize it's a pretty big un- 
dertaking to overthrow the old crowd. 

Polly. Meaning dad ? 

Pendexter. Well — er — what he represents. 

Polly. Then why not withdraw ? 

Pendexter {with dignity). I'm standing for a principle. 

Polly. Well, then, I guess the only way is to fight dad 
to a finish. 

Pendexter. What are you up to now ? 

Polly. Joe, I've been thinking it would be fun to play 
this i^ame for all it's worth. 

Pendexter. What do you mean, Polly? 



22 POLLY IN POLITICS 

Polly. I mean I've had one sharp little skirmish with 
the enemy; I've discovered his weakness, and this is my 
ultimatum: By hook or crook, I'll gain dad's consent to 
our marriage. 

Pendexter. Ha, ha, ha! I'm afraid it'll have to 
be 

Polly. Mostly by crook? Mr. Speaker, I accept the 
amendment. 

Pendexter (still laughing). Then it's a vote. Good 
luck to you ! 

Polly. Thanks. (Hesitatingly. ) And — er — Joe ? 

Pendexter. Yes. 

Polly. If we weren't in so conspicuous a place I'd thank 
you more properly for the roses. 

Pendexter (slyly). Maybe we can arrange it. 

Polly. No. I can't delay any longer. 

Pendexter {ruefully). Must you go ? 

Polly. Yes. I suspect dad's in a dreadful temper 
already. It's a shame, though, to leave you behind. 

Pendexter {lightly). Oh, don't mind me. I under- 
stand the situation. I'll join you at the reception later. 

Polly. Yes, do. And let me whisper a secret. 

Pendexter. What is it, Polly? 

Polly. I'll flirt with you outrageously. 

Pendexter {eagerly). Will you — really? 

{Enter Danvers, c.) 

Danvers {sharply). Polly, are you coming? 

Polly. Yes, father dear. 

Danvers. Well, then, don't keep us waiting any longer. 

Polly. My, but you're impatient ! 

Danvers. Who wouldn't be ? 

Polly. Not I. 

Danvers. Huh ! 

Polly. I'm awfully angelic. {Turns to Pendexter 
and speaks very sweetly.) Don't you think so, Joey? 

Pendexter (ardently). Always ! 

Polly. There ! Why shouldn't I love him, dad ? 

Danvers (with exasperation). Polly, will you obey me? 

Polly {feigning astonishment). Why — of course ! I 
should never think of disobeying you, daddy mine. 

Danvers. Then do as I request.. 



POLLY IN POLITICS 23 

Polly (innocently}. Why, I'm doing it just as fast as I 
can. (Looks about.} Where's my cloak? 
Pendexter. Here you are. 

(Takes cloak and fan from chair.} 

Polly. Thanks. Now, dad, you may tell the chauffeur 
to crank up his old machine. The procession will start in 
a jiffy. 

Danvers (grimly). I should hope so ! 

(Pendexter places cloak on Polly's shoulders, and gives 
her the fan. She starts toward the doorway, then stops 
suddenly.} 

Polly. By the way, daddy dear, aren't you the least bit 
superstitious? 

Danvers. Superstitious? No. (Doubtfully.} Er — why 
do you ask? 

Polly (with great solemnity}. Goodness ! Don't you 
remember ? 

Danvers (fractious ly). Remember what ? 

Polly (roguishly). Why, they danced the night before 
Waterloo. (Quotes dramatically.} 

"There was a sound of revelry by night 
And Belgium's capital " 

Danvers (smiling in spite of himself }. Nonsense ! 

Polly (merrily}. Ha, ha, ha ! {Turns to Pendexter.) 
Well — by -bye, Joe ! Come early. I'll save you the first 
dreamy waltz ! 

(Polly goes out c, followed by Danvers. Pendexter re- 
mains standing. The orchestra plays a few bars of a 
popular waltz.} 



curtain 



ACT II 

The Ambush 

SCENE. — Interior of the telephone room at the Imperial. 
{See Scene Plot.) Desk and swivel chair, r., front, with 
telephone attached to desk. The same paper novel which 
Marie has been reading in Act I lies on the desk. Writ- 
ing table, L. C, with pens, ink, stationery, penknife, etc. 
Office chairs at table. Newspaper files, L., back. Tele- 
phone booth, r., back. The door of the booth is equipped 
with a lock and key, visible to the audience. If the stage 
facilities do not permit the construction of the conven- 
tional booth, a door located in the right wall of the scene, 
with proper lock and key, may be used for the door of 
the booth. Back of this door a small space should be 
"boxed" in with wings. A telephone hangs inside the 
booth, so situated that it can be seen when the door is 
open. The customary telephone sign should be placed 
above the door. The telephone signal may be given either 
by an electric bell or a colored light located just over the 
desk. 

(At rise of curtain, Cora Jones is discovered seated at the 
telephone desk. Dan vers is sitting l., reading a news- 
paper. The telephone signal is given as the curtain rises.) 

Cora (speaking into telephone). Hello ! Hello ! One, 
double four, ring three? [Pause.) No. Ring them again. 
(Pause.) Yes — waiting — waiting ! (Pause.) Did you get 
them? (Pause.) Yes, this is the imperial. Waiting! 
(Turns toward Danvers.) Ready with your call, Colonel 
Danvers. Step inside the booth, please. 

Danvers (throwing newspaper aside). All right — hold 
the line/ 

(Danvers rises hastily, crosses to the telephone booth, enters 
the booth, and closes the door after him. Cora takes 
novel and begins reading. In case a colored light is used 
for the telephone signal, whenever Cora is reading during 
the act she should hold her book under the light where its 
rays will attract her attention when the signal is given.) 

24 



POLLY IN POLITICS 25 

(Enter Sammy, c.) 

Sammy. Hello, Cora ! 

Cora {looking up). Hello, Sammy ! How's politics ? 

Sammy. Out o' sight ! How's yourself? 

Cora. Fine and dandy. {Chews gum.) 

Sammy. Whatcher readin' ? 

Cora. A book Marie lent me. 

Sammy (contemptuously). Well, seems as though every 
blamed girl in this whole shootin' match had her nose stuck 
into a novel. 

Cora. Oh, but this is tremendously exciting ! I'll ask 
Marie to let you have it when I'm through. 

Sammy (grandly). No, thank you. If I didn't have no 
better business 'n readin' novels, I'd 

Cora. Indeed ! Well, what is your business, I'd like 
to know ? 

Sammy (thrusting his hand into his pocket). Gee, I 
'most forgot! (Takes note from pocket and hands it to 
Cora.) Here's some dope the 'Sociated Press guy'd like to 
have you 'phone for him. 

Cora. Where does it go ? 

Sammy. To the Press office in the city, o' course. 
Where d'you s'pose? 

Cora. Don't be saucy. 

Sammy. Well, girls ask such fool questions. 

Cora (tossing her head). Oh, they do, do they ? Boys 
are just about perfect, I suppose, especially if they wear 
brass buttons. 

Sammy. Oh, quit your kiddin'. The newspaper chap 
wants his stuff to go right off. 

Cora (petulantly). Well, he'll have to wait. The line's 
busy. 

Sammy. Aw, g'wan ! That's what they all say. 

Cora. Well, it's true. Colonel Dan vers is in the booth 
now. 

Sammy. Huh ! Ain't there but one line out o' this 
bloomin' old place? 

Cora (haughtily). Well, who's running this 'phone, 
anyhow? 

Sammy. Ain't nobody s' far's I can see. 

Cora (rising suddenly). What! You little imp ! Clear 
out of here ! Beat it ! Quick ! 



26 POLLY IN POLITICS 

(Cora pursues Sammy to door c, where he collides with 
Mrs. D.yjust as she enters.} 

Mrs. D. (severely). Well, of all things ! The service 
in this hotel is simply abominable. When you want serv- 
ants they can't be found, and when you don't they're thick 
as thieves. 

Sammy {demurely). Good-morning, ma'am — guess I'll 
be goin'. 

Mrs. D. I guess you better go. 

Sammy {impudently). S'long, Cora ! 

(Exit Sammy, c.) 

Cora (to Mrs. D.). Do you wish to 'phone, madam? 

Mrs. D. I? No, indeed. I'm looking for Colonel 
Danvers. Has he been here this morning ? 

Cora. He's in the telephone booth. 

Mrs. D. Oh, is he? Then I'll wait for him. No doubt 
he's discussing politics. My word for it, young lady, a 
politician's wife has to cultivate a deal of patience. 

Cora (sympathetically). I believe you, madam. 

Mrs. D. Take my advice: never, never marry an 
office-seeker. 

(Cora returns to desk.) 
(Enter Danvers from booth.) 

Danvers {heartily). Hello, m'dear ! Looking for me ? 

Mrs. D. (curtly). Yes; I'm usually looking for you. 

Danvers (frankly). That's so. 

Mrs. D. (plaintively). And you're the hardest man to 
find ! 

Danvers (imiocently). Am I? 

Mrs. D. Yes — politicians are so elusive ! 

Danvers. That's just what the progressives say. 

Mrs. D. Well, they're right for once. I tell you a poli- 
tician's wife is a long-suffering martyr. She's browbeaten 
and neglected. Her wishes are not consulted, her life is 
drudgery 

Cora {speaking i?ito telephone). Oh, ring off ! 

Mrs. D. (turning toward Cora, angrily). Of all the 
impudent creatures ! The service in this hotel 

Cora (as before). Ring off, I say. 



POLLY IN POLITICS 2J 

Danvers (to Mrs. D.). Hush, m'dear I She's talk- 
ing into the telephone. 

Mrs. D. (only half mollified). H'm ! 

Cora (continuing). No; the Associated Press. Ring 
them again. (Pause.) No. Waiting — waiting ! (Pause.) 
The Associated Press? {Pause.) Yes, this is the Imperial. 
(Sharply.) Hello! • (Pause.) No; a message from your 
correspondent. (Pause.) I don't know. (Pause.) Yes. 

(Danvers starts to leave the room, but is halted by Mrs. D.) 

Mrs. D. Wait, Jasper, I want to hear the news. 
Danvers. I'll bet you do. 

(Enter Polly, c. She pauses in doorway while Cora is 
speaking. ) 

Cora (speaking into telephone as before). All ready. 
(Reads from paper obtained from Sammy, speaking the 
words into the transmitter slowly and distinctly.) " A thor- 
ough canvass of the representative vote impels me to believe 
that the caucus will select Colonel Danvers, leader of the 
'old guard/ as the party's candidate for speaker on the first 
ballot, by a bare majority." 

Mrs. D. (to Danvers, excitedly). Oh, do you hear, my 
dear? 

Cora (continuing). "The lines are closely drawn, and 
nearly every member has declared himself unequivocally. 
It is, therefore, possible to predict the result with reasonable 
certainty. Selection by the caucus to-morrow morning is 
equivalent to an election. Signed, Hammond." 

Polly (coming forward). Congratulations, dad. 

Mrs. D. (eagerly). You heard the message? 

Polly. Yes. 

Cora (turning toward Danvers suddenly). How care- 
less of me ! Mind, Colonel Danvers, I didn't tell you. 
You were listening — you know you were. 

Danvers (jovially). Ha, ha, ha ! I certainly was. 
Don't you worry about me, Cora. These newspaper chaps 
only know what we tell 'em, after all. . 

Cora. Well — to tell the truth, 'twas such good news I 
wanted Mrs. Danvers to hear it. 

Mrs. D. Oh, there's no secrecy where a telephone's 
concerned. 



28 POLLY IN POLITICS 

Polly. That's true. But remember, Joe tried his best to 
improve the service. 

Mrs. D. I should say he did ! These reformers want 
to improve everything. 

Polly. Well, his work looks efficient, to say the least. 

Danvers {contemptuously). Huh ! 

Polly (walking to telephone booth and taking key from 
lock). See, daddy dear ! It's a gorgeous key, isn't it? 

{Hands key to Danvers.) 

Danvers {irritably). Don't talk to me! {Turns toward 
Cora.) Here, Cora, take this plaguey thing and throw it 
clear into the Atlantic Ocean. {Gives key to her.) 

Cora {laughing). Ha, ha, ha ! I'm afraid you don't 
appreciate Mr. Pendexter's little joke, Colonel. 

{Places key on desk.) 

Danvers. The young jackanapes ! I'd like to 

Polly. Now, really, dad ! You shouldn't rail against 
your future son-in-law. 

Danvers. Future nothing ! Polly, once and for all, I 
forbid you to marry that fellow. I'll stand for anything but 
a crank ; and these progressives 

Mrs. D. {soothingly). There, there, Jasper! Don't get 
excited. 

Danvers. You needn't worry. I've no time to discuss 
matrimonial affairs this morning. Besides, there's nothing 
to discuss. My decision is irrevocable. 

Polly {sweetly). Oh, is it? 

Danvers {decisively). Yes, ma'am, it is. Good-bye — 
I'm orT for the State House. 

{Starts toward door c. Cora opens book and resumes 

reading.) 

Polly {calling to Danvers). Wait a moment, pa, 
(Danvers turns.) Aren't you going to show mother and 
me the sights before we go back home? I thought perhaps 
you'd take us driving this morning. 

Danvers {with amazement). Driving ! Why, the cau- 
cus meets at eleven, sharp. 

Polly {as though offended). Oh, very well. I'll ask 



POLLY IN POLITICS 20, 

Mr. Vilas to take us in his auto. You're so anxious to have 
me cultivate his acquaintance 

Danvers {sharply'). You'll do nothing of the sort. Jim 
Vilas must be at the State House. I need every vote to 
win. 

Polly {lightly'). Well, it won't do any harm to ask him. 

Danvers {regarding her with evident disgust). Harm i 
Great Caesar ! And women wonder we don't give 'em the 
ballot ! 

{Exit, c.) 

(Polly seats herself at the table, takes pen and paper and 
begins writing.) 

Mrs. D. {crossing to Polly). Polly, Mr. Vilas is very 
rich and influential. I think it would please your father 

Polly {reproachfully). Mother, you too ! 

Mrs. D. Well, anyhow, he'll never consent to your 
marrying Joe. 

Polly. Perhaps not now, ty.it 

Mrs. D. He's very determined. 

Polly. So am I. 

Mrs. D. Well, we won't argue the matter. I'm going 
over to the State House with your father. Are you coming ? 

Polly. No, not yet. When you pass through the office 
would you mind telling Sammy I'd like to see him? 

Mrs. D. Very well. But you'll be lucky if you ever get 
him. The service in this hotel 

Polly. Yes, mother, I know. 

{Exit Mrs. D., c, while Polly continues writing. Tele- 
phone signal.) 

Cora {speaking into telephone, but not taking eyes from 
book). Hello! No; line's busy. 

{Enter Marie, c. She carries Polly's/a//.) 

Marie {to Polly). Ah, Mees Danvair', I haf found you 
at las'. 

Polly {looking up from writing). Why, Marie, have 
you been looking for me ? 

Marie. Oui, mad'moiselle. Meestaire Pendexter re- 
ques' me to hand you zees fan. He say zat you forget eet 
at ze ball las' night. 



30 POLLY IN POLITICS 

Polly. That's just like Joe, for all the world. Go right 
back, Marie, and tell Mr. Pendexter that when a lady tor- 
gets her fan she doesn't expect it to be returned by a mes- 
senger. 

Marie {shrewdly). Mais oui, mad'moiselle; I under- 
stan'. 

(Marie starts toward door c, and Polly returns to her 

writing. ) 

Cora {looking tip from book). Oh, Marie ! (Marie 
turns.) Thank you for the book. 

Marie. You are mos' welcome. Do you like heem ? 

Cora {effusively). Yes, indeed. I adore novels, and 
this one is perfectly thrilling. 

Marie. Ees eet not? I haf plentee more. You shall 
read zem by and by. 

Cora. Thank you. {Resumes reading.) 

(Marie starts out door, but encounters Sammy, who 

e? iters c.) 

Sammy. Bong joor, Miss Parley-yoo ! 

Marie. Bon jour, M'sieur Sammee 1 

Sammy. What's your hurry? 

Marie.^ I mus' find Meestaire Pendexter. 

Sammy. Weil, you'll have to hustle, then. He's in the 
office now, but he's just goin' over to the State House. 

Marie. Ma foi ! 1 vill fly ! 

Polly {looking up). One moment, Marie. 

Marie. Oui, mad'moiselle. 

Polly. You may fetch me my motor things. You'll 
find them in the cloak room. 

Marie. Certainement, mad'moiselle. 

{Exit Marie, c.) 

Polly {to Sammy). Good-morning, Sammy. 

Sammy. 'Mornin', Miss Danvers. Your maw said you 
was lookin' for me. 

Polly {folding stationery on which she has been writing 
and placing it in envelope). Yes. I want you to find Mr. 
Vilas at once and give him this note. Tell him I'm waiting 
here for his answer. 

Sammy. Sure thing ! I guess he's over at the State 
House, but I'll corral him all right, all right. 



POLLY IN POLITICS 3 1 

{Telephone signal.') 

Cora (speaking into telephone). Hello ! 

Sammy {mimicking Cora). Line's busy. 

Cora {addressing Sammy, but failing to remove her 
month from the transmitter). Get away from here this in- 
stant, or I'll 

Sammy. Skidoo, ring twenty-three ! I'm gone. 

{Exit Sammy, c.) 

Cora [speaking into telephone). Oh, no, no I I was 
speaking to somebody else. I beg your pardon. {Pause.) 
Yes; in the office — double six, ring three. {Addresses 
Polly.) That boy Sammy will be the death of me. 

Polly {laughingly). Is he so bad as that? 

Cora. He's bad enough. {Resumes reading.) 

{Enter Pendexter, c. He has Polly's fan.) 

Pendexter {coming down l. to Polly). Good-morn- 
ing, merry sunshine. 

Polly {with assumed haughtiness). Good-morning, sir. 

Pendexter. Oh, I'm properly humbled all right enough. 
{Extends fan toward her.) See, I've become a regular 
Japanese fan-bearer. Behold, fair lady ! Thine ignoble 
slave returns thy honorable fan. 

Polly {rising and taking fan). Splendid ! You'd 
make a first-rate Jap. 

Pendexter. Thanks. A cherished ambition is realized. 
But tell me, how is my lady's health this morning and that 
of her honorable parents? 

Polly. Your lady's health is exceedingly good, but her 
honorable papa is just as spiteful as ever. His temper isn't 
improved by his honorable politics. 

Pendexter {quizzically). His what? 

Polly. Oh, 1 forgot. {Slyly.) It's only the insurgents 
whose politics are honorable. 

Pendexter. Exactly. 

Polly. Well, anyhow, dad isn't a bit more favorably 
disposed toward the handsome young leader of the pro- 
gressives 

Pendexter {bowing). Many thanks. 

Polly. than he was yesterday. 



32 POLLY IN POLITICS 

Pendexter. Well, I suppose we'll have to make the 
most of it. 

Polly. Indeed, we'll not. Why, dad's opposition to 
our marriage is simply outrageous. I'll not stand it another 
day. 

Pendexter. But what can you do ? 

Polly. Listen. If dad were convinced that I had it in 
my power to prevent his election, he'd be — well, in a recep- 
tive state of mind, to say the least. 

Pendexter. Very likely. But unfortunately, the suf- 
fragettes are not yet in control. 

Polly. Oh, I don't know ! A woman doesn't have to 
vote to play the garae of politics. 

Pendexter {laughing). Doesn't she? 

Polly. No, indeed. 

Pendexter. Please elucidate. 

Polly. Very well. Come over here where we won't be 
heard. {They come down left of table?) Now this contest 
over the speakership is awfully close. Dad's fate may hang 
on a single ballot. 

Pendexter. Very true. 

Polly. Well, suppose some influential member fails to be 
present at the caucus when the balloting begins? 

Pendexter. Don't deceive yourself. No such thing is 
likely to occur. 

Polly. I know. But just assume it for the sake of ar- 
gument. Suppose, for example, that Jim Vilas should take 
me out in his motor for a spin in the country till time for 
the House to convene, and just as we were ready to return, 
pop ! should go a tire — I guess dad would be a bit worried 
about his election, wouldn't he? — that is, if Jimmy couldn't 
get back in time to vote ? 

Pendexter. I agree; he'd be tremendously worried; 
but Polly 

Polly. Well, stranger things have happened. 

Pendexter {smiling). Aren't you leaving a good deal 
to chance ? 

Polly. Not much. {Takes pen-knife from tabled) A 
pen-knife makes a beautiful puncture. 

Pendexter. Ha, ha, ha ! I honestly believe you'd 
do it. 

Polly. Of course I would. 

Pendexter {seriously). But I might get elected, you 



POLLY IN POLITICS 33 

know, and I could never countenance such high-handed 
methods. 

Polly. Well, you don't have to; but I guess you can 
bluff a little. Just say to dad: " Your daughter has kid- 
napped Jim Vilas. His vote is necessary to your election. 
I'm too — er — progressive to take an unfair advantage polit- 
ically, but I guess it's time to trade. Consent to my mar- 
riage with Polly, and I'll withdraw from the contest." 

Pendexter (with admiration). Well, if you don't beat 
the Dutch ! 

Polly. I don't care about the Dutch, but I'll beat dad 
if I get half a chance. Now run over to the State House 
and be ready to do your part. 

Pendexter (doubtfully). Now, Polly, see here. I don't 
quite like 

(Enter Marie, c. She carries automobile cloak and bonnet 
for Polly.) 

Polly. Ah, here's Marie with my motor things. (To 
Marie.) Leave them by the door, Marie. 
Marie. Oui, mad'moiselle. 

(Places cloak and bonnet on chair at left of door,) 

Polly. That's all ; you may go. 

(Exit Marie, c.) 

Pendexter. Polly, you're surely not in earnest about 
this auto business? Why, you're crazy to attempt it. I 
shall certainly warn your father 

Polly. Now, Joe, it's no use ; my mind's made up— 
and here's Mr. Vilas already. 

(Enter Vilas, c.) 

Vilas (cordially). Delightful morning, Miss Dan vers. 

Polly. Very delightful, indeed. 

Vilas (to Pendexter, patronizingly). Don't let me 
drive you away, Pendexter. 

Pendexter. Oh, I'm off for the State House. 

Vilas. I'm going back there myself very soon. The 
Colonel's going to 'phone me when the fun begins. 

Pendexter (enigmatically). Well, I hope you'll enjoy 
— the fun. 



34 POLLY IN POLITICS 

(Exit Pendexter, c.) 

Vilas. I received your note, Miss Danvers. 

Polly. Did you? Then you'll take pity on me, Fra 
sure. I do so want a motor ride this morning, and father 
is so busy he won't give mother or me a bit of attention. 

Vilas. I'm sorry. There's hardly time for a ride be- 
fore we assemble. At least, I couldn't go myself, but my 
chauffeur is waiting outside 

Polly. Oh, I'd not think of going without you. 

Vilas. Wouldn't you, really? 

Polly. No, indeed. 

Vilas. How flattering ! Have I then found favor in 
your eyes — at last ? 

Polly. Why, I — I've always 

Vilas. You've always preferred Joe Pendexter — be hon- 
est about it. 

Polly. Yes, I will be honest. I do prefer Joe, and I'm 
going to marry him, too — that is, just as soon as dad gives 
his consent. 

Vilas. I see. In the meantime young Pendexter needs 
a little lobbying, doesn't he? 

Polly (guardedly). Possibly. 

Vilas. And if the regulars are deprived of but a single 
vote, his chances are better. 

Polly. You're shrewder than I thought, Mr. Vilas. 

Vilas. I'm shrewd enough not to walk into an open 
trap, Miss Polly. 

Polly (innocently). Oh, I shouldn't expect to deceive 
you. 

Vilas. Certainly not ! But suppose I'm willing to be 
deceived? Suppose I accept your proposition? What 
then ? 

Polly. Oh, I'm not a professional lobbyist. I shan't 
make a bargain with you. 

Vilas. Then you're the first woman 

Polly. To resist a bargain ? Not at all. I know the 
"old guard M too well not to distrust 

Vilas. Ha, ha, ha ! You're like that Trojan chap who 
feared the Greeks even when they offered gifts. 

Polly. Well — -he was right, wasn't he ? 

Vilas. Yes, he surely was. 

Polly. Mr. Vilas, to be frank about it 



POLLY IN POLITICS 35 

Vilas. Pardon me. To be frank about it, you'd give 
all you possess to humble that irate father of yours. Isn't 
that so ? 

Polly. Well ? Suppose it is ? 

Vilas. And to attain that unworthy object you'd pre- 
vent me or any other regular from voting for him if you 
could. 

Polly {ironically). Hmph ! That's not so smart. I'd 
gain a whole lot, wouldn't I, by electing Joe? Why, dad 
would never forgive him — or me. 

Vilas (doubtfully). That's true. 

Polly. Mr. Vilas, you've guessed so much I may as 
well confess the rest. To tell the truth, I'm not at all con- 
cerned about Joe's election. Politics never did appeal to 
me. What I want most of all is to control a vote or two 
just long enough to bring dad to terms, and I don't care a 
picayune whether it has to be done by strategy, persuasion 
or force. Strategy seems to have failed, and I don't like 
bargains. Are you open to persuasion ? 

Vilas {smiling and shaking his head). I'm afraid not, 
Miss Polly; looks as though you'd have to resort to force. 

Polly. Then it's war, is it ? 

Vilas. Well, that's an ugly word — but I'm afraid it's 
war. 

{Telephone signal.) 

Cora {speaking info telephone, but not looking up from 
book). Hello ! {Pause.) Yes, but you'll have to wait. 
The line's busy. {Continues reading.) 

{While Cora is speaking Polly's expression changes all at 
once as though she had reached a sudden determination.) 

Vilas {with admiration). You're a splendid antagonist, 
Miss Polly — I've that consolation. 

Polly. Oh, I shall fight to win. 

Vilas. That's the proper spirit ! Open fire ! I'm ready. 

Polly. Then you declare yourself my opponent ? 

Vilas. I do. Within half an hour I shall cast my vote 
for Colonel Dan vers. Stop me if you can ! 

Polly. Is that a challenge ? 

Vilas. It is. 

Polly. Then beware ! 

Vilas. Of whom? 



36 POLLY IN POLITICS 

Polly. Of me. Where there's a will there's a way. 

Vilas. Ha, ha, ha ! When you've found that way just 
let me know. 

Polly. You shall be the first to hear it. 

Vilas. Good ! I'll be at the State House after eleven 
o'clock. You can 'phone me there. 

Polly. That's a pretty reckless assertion, Mr. Vilas. 

Vilas. You think so ? 

Polly. Yes. Life is dreadfully uncertain. 

Vilas. I know it is. 

Polly. Maybe you'll never leave this room. 

Vilas. I'm not worrying about that. 

Polly. You're not? Well, what if I refuse to let you 
go? 

Vilas. Ha, ha, ha ! If you can prevent me from doing 
my duty, by George ! I promise you i — I'll dance at Joe 
Pendexter's wedding. 

Polly. Will you ? 

Vilas. Yes — and give my auto to the bride. 

{Telephone signal.*) 

Cora {speaking into telepho?ie). Hello ! {Pause.) Yes. 
{Pause.) Mr. Viias, you're wanted at the telephone. 

Vilas. Guess the Colonel must be getting impatient. 
Excuse me. I'll bolster up his courage a bit. Better hustle, 
Miss Polly, if you want to win that auto. 

Polly {nonchalantly). Oh, there's lots of time. 

(Vilas crosses to booth , enters and closes door behind him.) 

Cora {speaking into telephone). Waiting ! Waiting ! 
{Pause. ) Yes— ready. 

Polly {running swiftly to Cora). Miss Cora, will you 
do me a favor ? 

Cora {with surprise). Certainly. What is it ? 

Polly. Tell Sammy I want to see him at once. I'll 
answer the 'phone. 

Cora. Oh, that's all right. Everybody's at the State 
House. There'll be few calls. 

Polly {impatiently). Yes, I know — only hurry ; please, 
please hurry ! 

Cora. Of course, if you wish me to. 

{Exit Cora, c.) 



POLLY IN POLITICS 37 

(As soon as Cora has left the room, Polly takes key from 
desk, hurries to telephone booth, locks the door and re- 
moves the key from the lock. She then steps back to the 
desk and seats herself before the telephone?) 

Polly {speaking into telephone). Hello! Dad? — Mr. 
Vilas? (Pause.) It's Polly. (Pause.) Yes ; on the same 
line with both of you. (Pause.) I've something very im- 
portant to say. It's this. (Slowly and emphatically.) I'm 
■ — afraid — Mr. Vilas — won't — be able — to — vote — this morn- 
ing. He — he's unavoidably detained. (Pause.) What's 
that, Mr. Vilas? (Pause.) No, dad, he doesn't know what 
he's saying. It isn't a joke. I've got him under lock and 
key. (Pause.) Where? Why, in the telephone booth. 
If you don't believe it, Mr. Vilas, just try the door. (Pause.) 
Tut, tut ! Such language is shocking. Daddy dear, I 
guess it's up to you. I'll be over directly. (Pause.) Only 
a second. (Impressively.) My motor-car is waiting at the 
door ! 

(Enter Cora and Sammy, c.) 

Cora (to Polly). Here's Sammy, Miss Danvers. 

Polly (rising). Thank you. (Turns to Sammy.) 
Sammy, I've caught a politician in a trap, and I don't want 
him to get away. It's Mr. Vilas. 

Sammy (gleefully). Wot! Oh, say! In a trap? 
Where'bouts, Miss Danvers? 

Polly. There in the telephone booth. (Hands key to 
Sammy.) Here's the key. Take it, and don't release the 
prisoner till I say the word. Are you with me? 

Sammy (heartily). Am I? Well, I should say I was! 
That's wot I call politics. 

Cora (coming forward). Miss Danvers, this is an out- 
rage. I can't allow 

Polly (lightly). Don't let it bother you. I assume the 
responsibility. And it won't be for long. 

(Polly is putting on her coat and bon?iet while talking. ) 

Cora. Yes ; but • 

Polly (turning toward Sammy). Sammy, I left my 
father and Mr. Vilas still talking over the telephone. No 
doubt they're contriving some scheme to outgeneral me. 
But remember, I rely on you to hold the fort. 



38 POLLY IN POLITICS 

Sammy. You're bettin* on a sure thing, Miss Danvers. 

Polly {with a significant glance toward Cora). Above 
all else, don't permit any one to summon assistance. 

Sammy {grinning appreciatively). Not on your life ! 

Polly. I'll 'phone you full instructions from the State 
House. 

Sammy (with admiration). Gee, but you're a dead game 
sport ! 

Polly (to Cora). In the meantime, Miss Cora, you'd 
better revise that message to the papers. 

Cora. Indeed ! 

Polly {imitating Cora's manner in telephoning the mes- 
sage at the beginning of the act). Tell them that a later 
canvass of the representative vote leads you to believe that 
unless Colonel Danvers accedes to his daughter's demands, 
the House will elect an insurgent speaker. 

(Sammy stands before the door of the booth in a martial at- 
titude. Polly hurries out c. As soon as she has left, 
Cora starts rapidly toward door tip c. ; Sammy i?itercepts 
her, closes door C, turns the lock and removes the key. 
Cora tosses her head disdainfully and walks to L., front, 
standing with back to7t>ard Sammy. Sammy advances 
stealthily to desk and seats himself before the telephone. 
Suddenly Cora turns and starts swiftly toward the tele- 
phone, but stops abruptly when she discovers Sammy seated 
in her place. ) 

Sammy {grinning impudently). Hello, Cora! I guess 
you'll have to wait. The line is busy ! 

{The orchestra plays afeiu measures of the Marseillaise.) 



curtain 



ACT III 

The Victory 

SCENE. — Interior of a committee room in the State House. 
Door a, back. Window at right of door. Desk, with 
telephone, r., front. Long table L. a, back, extending 
parallel with the back wall of the scene. Office chair at 
desk ; a row of chairs on each side of table. All en- 
trances during the act are made through the ce?itre door. 

(At rise of curtain, Dan vers is discovered seated at the 
telephone.) 

Danvers (speaking into telephone fr actions ly). Eh ? 
(Pause.) Well, suppose it is ? Kick the door open ; raise 
a racket. Are you going to let a girl outwit you ? (Pause.) 
What! Don't wish to advertise your humiliation ? Great 
Caesar's ghost ! How about my humiliation if you're not 
here to vote for me? Why, I'll be defeated, sure. The in- 
surgents are out in full force. (Pause.) Of course; but 
you ought to have thought of that before leaving the State 
House. If you'd told me 'twas Polly who sent for you, I'd 
have known better than to let you go. (Pause.) Oh, yes, 
I understand. I know you've always been mighty anxious 
to please her. But love hasn't any place in politics. You 
should have stuck to your post in a crisis like this. Instead 
of that you've been a regular puppet. Oh, it's enough to 
make an angel rave. 

(Throws receiver upon hook viciously.) 

(Enter Mrs. D.) 

Mrs. D. Gently, Jasper, gently ! 

Danvers (turning toward her with surprise). Well, 
upon my word ! 

Mrs. D, (coming fonuard). What's the matter? Did 
I startle you ? 

Danvers. Startle me? I should say you did. What 
on earth are you doing here ? 

Mrs. D. (sweetly). They told me you were in this com- 

39 



40 POLLY IN POLITICS 

mittee room, so I thought I'd make you a little call. If 
you're not too busy, I wish you'd find me a seat in the vis- 
itors' gallery. 

Danvers. A seat in the visitors' gallery? Now look 
here, m'dear, don't you know that isn't any place for a 
woman ? 

Mrs. D. Fiddle-dee-dee ! Don't be so old-fashioned. 
I guess if I want to see my husband nominated 

Danvers. You'll see him defeated if Jim Vilas doesn't 
return mighty sudden. 

Mrs. D. Where is Mr. Vilas ? 

Danvers. Where is he? At the hotel — caught like a 
rat in a trap. 

Mrs. D. Dear me ! What has happened ? 

Danvers. Happened ? That daughter of ours 

Mrs. D. (impatiently). Yes, yes. 

Danvers (continuing}. -has got Jim Vilas locked 

up in the telephone booth. 

Mrs. D. Horrors ! Tell me everything from the begin- 
ning. 

Danvers. Well, a short time ago, Vilas got a note from 
Polly summoning him to the hotel. He's so crazy about her 
that he'll do any fool thing she asks of him, and so he 
obeyed the summons — told me to call him by 'phone when 
'twas time for the balloting. 

Mrs. D. Well, it's nearly time now, isn't it? 

Danvers. Of course it is. 

Mrs. D. Is the caucus meeting now ? 

Danvers. It will in a few minutes, and every insurgent 
is on the spot. 

Mrs. D. Have you 'phoned Mr. Vilas? 

Danvers. Of course 1 have ; and while he was answering 
me from the booth Polly turned the lock on him. 

Mrs. D. Mercy ! What for ? 

Danvers. To prevent his voting, of course. 

Mrs. D. (horrified). How dreadful ! What can you 
do? 

Danvers. Do? (Walks t/p and down.) I'll get him 
out of there within five minutes if I have to use dynamite. 

Mrs. D. No, no ! Don't be rash. Think of the con- 
sequences. 

Danvers. That's just what I am thinking about. Why, 
I'll be defeated if Jim doesn't 



POLLY IN POLITICS 



41 



I know ; but there'll be an awful scandal. 

Precious little I care if there is. 
Dear, dear ! Remember Polly is our daughter. 

I'm not likely to forget it. 
We must keep her name out of the papers. 

Not at all. She's sought notoriety — let her 



Mrs. D. 

Danvers. 

Mrs. D. 

Danvers. 

Mrs. D. 

Danvers. 
have it. 

Mrs. D. But just imagine the odious headlines and — ■ 
and the scurrilous paragraphs. 

Danvers. They don't concern me. 

Mrs. D. Ah, but they will concern you. If you don't 
hush this matter up you'll see the front page of every daily 
flaunting such words as these : "A Fair Insurgent ! Leader 
of the ' Old Guard ' Outwitted by his Pretty Daughter." 

Danvers {contemplatively}. H'm ! Perhaps you're right. 

Mrs. D. I know I am. Better find Polly and make her 
listen to reason. 

Danvers. Mighty little reason she'll listen to. She's 
coming over to see me, though. 

Mrs. D. She is? When? 

Danvers. At once. In her auto, she said. 

Mrs. D. In her auto? Why, what can she mean ? 

Danvers. Blest if I know ! 

Mrs. D. Oh, why didn't I insist on taking her with me? 

Danvers. Huh ! Why didn't I insist on leaving you 
both at home ? 

Mrs. D. The idea ! 

Danvers. Well, time is precious. I've got to act. 

Mrs. D. Why doesn't Mr. Vilas call for help ? 

Danvers. He's afraid of making himself conspicuous. 

Mrs. D. Polly has the key, I suppose ? 

Danvers. Naturally. 

Mrs. D. Then any one who rescued him would have to 
break the lock. Questions would be asked, and the whole 
story'd come out. Yes, he's right ; he'd be conspicuous 
fast enough. It would make us look ridiculous, too. 

Danvers. It would, eh? Well, we'll look a blamed 
sight more ridiculous if I'm defeated. 

Mrs. D. Oh, dear !— oh, dear ! 

Danvers. Look here ! I'm the one who loses in this 
deal. I shan't wait for Polly. I'm going to notify the 
office. 

Mrs. D. (jvith agitation). No, no ! 



42 POLLY IN POLITICS 

Danvers. I'll make it an object for the clerk to keep 
mum. 

Mrs. D. But he never will. 

Danvers. I'll take my chances. {Goes to desk and 
speaks into telephone.) Hello, Central! I want the Im- 
perial. {Pause.) Hello! The Imperial? {Pause.) Who's 
speaking ? {Pause.) Sammy ! Why, where's Cora ? 

Mrs. D. {emphatically). She's reading a novel— that's 
where you'll find Cora Jones. 

Danvers {continuing). You're taking her place, eh? 
Oh, very well. Give me the office. I want to speak with 
the clerk. {Pause.) Eh? What's that? {Turns from 
telephone angrily.) Well, by the eternal Jupiter ! the line 
is busy. 

Mrs. D. Don't you believe it. They're all combined 
against us. Oh, the service in that hotel ! 

{Knock at door.) 

Danvers. Hark ! What's that ? 
Mrs. D. Some one's at the door. 
Danvers {calling). Come in. 

{Enter Pendexter.) 

Pendexter. Pardon my intrusion, Colonel; but it's 
nearly time for the vote, you know. I understand Jim 
Vilas hasn't returned 

Danvers {sarcastically). You do, eh ? Keeping pretty 
close tabs on us, aren't you ? 

Pendexter. Well, I'm afraid — that is to say, I — I had 
a — er — an interview with Polly this morning 

Danvers. So you're in league with my daughter. I 
suspected as much. 

Mrs. D. {warningly). Jasper ! 

Danvers. Nice clean politics, isn't it, to hold up a man 
who's going to vote against you ? 

(Mrs. D. turns and walks to window, where she stands 
looking out. ) 

Pendexter. Why, Colonel Danvers, I 



Danvers. You scoundrel, — if you hadn't dragged Polly 
into it, I'd make you suffer ! 
Pendexter. Sir ! 






POLLY IN POLITICS 43 

Danvers. Clever idea that lock and key ! And I was 
innocent enough to think you meant it for a joke ! 

Pendexter (jvith dignity). Colonel Danvers, I'm utterly 
at a loss to understand your meaning. 

Danvers (sarcastically). Oh, you are, are you ? 

Pendexter. Certainly. 1 came here to warn you that 
Polly is plotting mischief — - — 

Danvers. You admit you knew it, then? 

Pendexter. I do. She told me 

Danvers. Well, it's a pretty time for warning, I must 
say — after the mischief is done. 

Pendexter. You misunderstand me, sir ; I 

{Sound of motor-car outside.) 

Mrs. D. (at window). Look ! there's Polly now. 

Danvers. Good ! We'll soon find out who's running 
things. 

Mrs. D. (still at window). She's driving Mr. Vilas' 
car. 

Pendexter. Er — any tires punctured ? 

Mrs. D. No. Why do you ask? 

Pendexter (evasively). Oh, I — I just wanted to know. 

Danvers (shrewdly). H'm ! Guess that plot must have 
failed. 

Mrs. D. She's left the car and entered the State House. 

Danvers. She has, eh ? 

Mrs. D. Yes; she'll be in here directly. 

Danvers (grimly). Well, she'll go out again mighty 
quick. 

Mrs. D. Why? 

Danvers (repeating). Why? I want Jim Vilas, and 
she'll have to get him, that's why. 

Mrs. D. Seems to me you're irritable enough. 

Danvers. Well, who could help being irritable, I'd like 
to know. (Looks at watch.) It lacks only fifteen minutes 
of the time set for the meeting. 

Pendexter. As late as that ? 

Danvers (gruffly). Yes. 

Mrs. D. (speaking as the door opens). Ah, here comes 
Polly ! 

(Enter Polly.) 

Polly (cheerily). Hello, everybody ! Sori*y to keep 



44 POLLY IN POLITICS 

you waiting, pa, but the auto delayed me a bit. Do you 
know, I don't just like the transmission. 

Danvers. Well, listen to that, will you ? Since when, 
pray, have you grown so critical ? 

Polly {lightly). Oh, since I won my motor-car — on a 
wager. 

Danvers. Well, permit me to notify you that you're 
likely to lose it — by an explosion. 

Polly. My, won't that be exciting? 

Danvers. You'll think so — if Jim Vilas isn't released in 
about two minutes. 

Pendexter {with surprise). Released ? {Impatiently.) 
Will some one kindly inform me what has happened to 
Vilas? 

Polly. When I left the Imperial he was doing a little 
turn entitled "The Lion in Captivity.' 1 

Pendexter. In captivity? 

Polly. Precisely. And Mr. Joseph Pendexter very con- 
siderately furnished the cage. 

Pendexter {with astonishment). What ! You don't 
mean to tell me ? 

Mrs. D. {tearfully).. Oh, Polly, Polly, you have dis- 
graced us ail ! 

Polly. There, there, ma! don't get hysterical. {To 
Pendexter.) I mean to tell you that I've got Jimmy Vilas 
securely imprisoned in the telephone booth. 

Pendexter. Impossible ! 

Polly. Dad doesn't think so. 

Danvers. Nice ladylike proceeding, isn't it? 

Pendexter {seriously). Now, Polly, you know I told 
you I wouldn't stand 

Polly. Joe, why aren't you in the caucus? You can't 
afford to be absent a minute longer. I'll look after dad. 

Pendexter. Is this my dismissal? 

Polly. Now, Joe — please. 

Pendexter {to Danvers). Colonel, let me assure you 
again that I've had no hand 

Polly. Oh, dad understands all that, Joe. 

Pendexter. Very well. I'll withdraw for the present. 

{Exit Pendexter, c.) 

Polly. Now then, daddy mine, I'm the only original 
insurgent. 



POLLY IN POLITICS 45 

Mrs. D. (moaning). Dear me ! — dear me ! 

Polly. If you want the Honorable Jimmy's vote, there's 
just one way to get it. 

Danvers. Pardon me — there are lots of ways. One of 
'em I'm going to tackle in half a second. 

Polly. Gracious, how expeditious ! 

Danvers. Give me the key to that booth at once. 

Polly (nonchalantly). Can't — I haven't it. 

Danvers. You haven't? 

Polly. No. I left it in the hands of my — lieutenant. 
He's perfectly trustworthy, too. 

Danvers. Then I'll smash the booth to splinters. 

Polly. Try it. Ha, ha, ha! You'll look awfully 
absurd. 

Danvers. I'll risk it. 

Polly. Everybody'll laugh at you. 

Danvers. Let 'em. Who cares ? 

Polly. Laughter'll be fatal to your cause. 

Danvers. Don't worry. 

Polly. Besides, think of the scandal. 

Mrs. D. (plaintively}. That's just what I've told your 
father. 

Polly. You're very sensible, mother dear. 

Danvers (abruptly). Well, what's your proposition ? 

Polly. Consent to my marriage with Joe 

Danvers. Not if I know myself. 

Polly. Then I'll elect him speaker and postpone the 
wedding. Take your choice. 

(Places herself in front of door?) 

Danvers. I've chosen already. Stand aside. 

(Shouts are heard as though coming from a hall in a distant 
part of the building : < i Pendexter ! Pendexter ! Hurrah 
for Pendexter / " etc. Danvers, who has started toward 
the door, stops abruptly.) 

Polly (triumphantly). Listen. 

Mrs. D. They're ready to vote. 

Polly. Just hear the insurgents cheering Joe ! 

Danvers. Let me out of here. 

Polly. Sounds ominous,, doesn't it? 

Danvers (fiercely). Come — open that door ! 



46 POLLY IN POLITICS 

Polly. Not yet. There's a better way. Let me 'phone 
Sammy to unlock the booth. The chauffeur's returned to 
the hotel, and he'll bring Mr. Vilas over in a twinkling. 

Danvers. No; I'll never 

Polly. You can't go yourself. 

Danvers. Watch me. I'll break into that booth with 
an ax. 

Polly. But you can't get back in time to vote. 

Danvers. Don't you believe it. 

Polly. When the insurgents learn that you and Jim 
Vilas are both absent, they'll force the issue. 

Danvers {growling). Ah-h ! 

Polly. With the regulars deprived of two votes, Joe's 
election will be an assured fact. 

Danvers. Oh, if I only had 

Polly. But you haven't. To punish me now would be 
to betray your party. 

Danvers. Oh, you little minx ! 

Mrs. D. (coming forward}. Polly, I protest. 

Polly. Mother dear, this is my battle. 

Mrs. D. Well, it surely isn't mine. 

Polly (to Danvers). Dad, " once to every man and na- 
tion comes the moment to decide." 

Danvers. H'm ! Beautiful time to quote poetry ! 

Polly. Poetry or not, it's up to you. Jf you don't accept 
my terms you'll be defeated, and I'll marry Joe just the 
same — a little later, to be sure, and without your consent, 
but still I shall marry him. Naturally, I'd prefer the mar- 
riage to be shipshape and proper. 

Danvers (ironically). I wonder you're so conservative. 

Polly. Oh, I'm not an insurgent by nature. I'm proud 
of you, dad, and if you're elected I'll be prouder still. But 
I'm equally proud of the man I love. I told you last night 
I shouldn't let a silly little game of politics stand between me 
and happiness ; and I can't be happy while you're quarrel- 
ing with Joe. 

Mrs. D. There, Jasper ! she's perfectly reasonable. 

Danvers. Reasonable — with Jim Vilas locked up like a 
thief? 

Mrs. D. Well, I for one can't see any sort of use in 
butting against a wall. « 

Polly. No — nor a telephone booth. Now, come. I 
don't expect you to grovel, dad. All I ask is a little con- 



POLLY IN POLITICS 47 

sideration for Joe and me — such consideration as you used 
to show us before you and Joe fell out over politics. 

{Enter Pendexter.) 

Pendexter (courteously). Colonel, the balloting will 
begin at eleven o'clock precisely. I shall be sorry if any 
fault of mine — or Polly's — occasions your absence. 

Polly. Now, Joe — please. Let me alone just a few 
minutes ! 

Pendexter (continuing). Whether I win or lose, Colo- 
nel, I'm going to play fair, and if I've given you any cause 
for offense in the past, I ask your pardon. 

Mrs. D. (ivith elation). Hear that, Jasper. Joe has 
apologized. 

Polly. It's splendid, isn't it, ma? (To Danvers.) 
Now, dad, show the proper spirit. 

Danvers. Well — I 

Polly (eagerly). Well? Do you surrender, dad ? 

Danvers. Surrender? No. But a good politician knows 
when he's beaten. 

Polly (eagerly). And you're a good politician ? 

Danvers (dryly). They tell me so. 

Polly. That means you consent to our marriage ? 

Danvers. I suppose I must. Joe's well enough, if it 
wasn't for his politics. 

Polly. Well, he's young. Maybe he'll grow wiser. 

Danvers. I hope so. 

Pendexter (advancing to Danvers). Colonel, will you 
take my hand ? 

Danvers. I've no objection. We may as well bury the 
hatchet. 

(They shake hands.) 

Polly. Oh, lovely ! Do you really mean what you say, 
daddy dear ? 

Danvers. Well, I've said so much — — ! 

Polly. Are you sure you don't object to having Joe — 
in the family? 

Danvers. Oh, he's welcome to the job of trying to boss 
you, if he wants it. (Smiles.) And now, Polly, I don't 
want to appear impatient 

Polly. Goodness ! I forgot. I must fulfil my part of 
the bargain. (Goes to desk and speaks into the telephone.) 



48 POLLY IN POLITICS 

t 

Hello ! Give me the Imperial. {Pause.} Hello ! Who's 
talking? (Pause.) Oh, is it you, Sammy? This is Miss 
Danvers. You may release your prisoner. Tell him the 
auto is in front of the hotel. I didn't quite fancy the model. 
(Pause.) Yes, I got what I wanted. (Pause.) Yes, I 
hope so. Thank you very much. And — Sammy ! Ask 
Mr. Vilas to please hurry. Colonel Danvers is waiting for 
him at the State House. That's all. Good-bye. 

(Hangs up receiver.*) 

Pendexter (to Danvers). Colonel, I predict your 
nomination and election. Allow me to congratulate you in 
advance. 

Danvers. Thanks — thanks. I — I'm feeling more confi- 
dent myself. {Awkwardly.) I — I hope you're going to be 
— happy with Polly. 

Pendexter. No doubt about it, sir. She's worth all 
the speakerships in the nation. 

Danvers (critically). H'm ! (To Mrs. D.) Well, come 
along, m'dear. I'll find you a place somewhere. 

Mrs. D. All right. Will I be in time? 

Danvers. Yes. (Looks at watch.) It's a close shave, 
though — only a minute to spare. 

(Exeunt Danvers and Mrs. D., c.) 

(Polly remains seated at desk. Pendexter crosses to her 

side.) 

Polly (looking up half shyly, half coquettishly). Joe 
dear, did you really mean it when you said just now that — 
that I was worth all the speakerships in the nation? 

Pendexter. Bless you, dear ! of course I did. 

Polly. And — and you won't be sorry if you're not 
elected ? 

Pendexter. Sorry? Why, what's that poor little 
House 

(Shouts heard outside as before: "Pendexter! Pen- 
dexter / We want Pendexter / ") 

Polly (rising). Hark ! They're calling for you. 

Pendexter. Yes, I hear them. But what can they 
offer, I say, compared to that other House you and I are 
going to build one of these days — build not only with our 
hands but with our hearts ■ 



POLLY IN POLITICS 49 

Polly. Yes, yes ! it will be glorious, won't it, dear? 

Pendexter. Why, I'd rather rule — — 

Polly {shaking her finger at him playfully). Tut, tut ! 
There'll be no elections in that little House. I warn you 
right now that I'm going to be Speaker. 

(Pendexter laughs good- humor edly, then turns and walks 
with Polly toward the door. The curtain falls to the 
strains of Mendelssohn' s wedding march played by the 
orchestra. ) 



CURTAIN 



m 13 



19 tl 



One copy del. to Cat. Div. 



'3 1911 



SEP 13 



1SH 




Practical Elocution 

By J. W. Shoemaker, A. M« 

300 pages 

Cloth, Leather Back, $1.25 

This work is the outgrowth of 
actual class-room experience, and 
is a practical, common-sense treat- 
ment of the whole subject. It is 
clear and concise, yet comprehen- 
sive, and is absolutely free from 
the entangling technicalities that are so frequently 
found in books of this class. 

Conversation, which is the basis of all true Elocu- 
tion, is regarded as embracing all the germs of 
speech and action. Prominent attention is therefore 
given to the cultivation of this the most common 
form of human expression. 

General principles and practical processes are pre- 
sented for the cultivation of strength, purity, and 
flexibility of Voice, for the improvement of distinct- 
ness and correctness in Articulation, and for the 
development of Soul power in delivery. 

The work includes a systematic treatment of Ges- 
ture in its several departments of position, facial 
expression, and bodily movement, a brief system of 
Gymnastics bearing upon vocal development and 
grace of movement, and also a chapter on Methods 
of Instruction, for teachers. 

Sold by all booksellers, or sent, prepaid, upon re- 
ceipt of price. 

The Penn Publishing Company 

923 Arch Street, Philadelphia* 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 




SEP 13 19U 



017 400 762 7 



Do you want to be an Orator 

Do you want to be a Teacher 
of Elocution 

Do you want to be a Public 
Reader 

Do you want to improve your 
conversation 

Do you want training in Physi- 
cal Culture 

Do you want to increase your 
power in any direction 




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